Day 598

My dad was in my dreams last night. He's not been in my dreams once since he died. Well, not really...there was one night where I could only hear his voice, but that was not a dream, it was a nightmare.

It was a simple dream really. We were at a football game. Not a huge stadium, high ticket priced, megatron football game. Just a simple game with a field, some players and some spectators. Dad and I were sitting side-by-side on the metal bench, drinking a beer out of plastic cups and just watching. We didn't speak, we didn't look at each other. We just sat next to each other and watched.

Wonder what that's supposed to mean? Doesn't matter really, I'm just glad to have him back, even for a moment, even if my eyes were closed.

Day 597

I haven't given you all anything to laugh at me about lately, so today's post is a bit of a treat for you. Enjoy kids...I'm laughing at myself too, so go ahead and feel free to make fun of me for some time.

So, ever see the movie "A Christmas Story"? Of course you have. Remember the scene where the boy gets his tongue stuck to the frozen pole? Thought it could never really happen to anyone, right? Oh so did I, but boy was I wrong.

Tuesday night, I decided that I wanted a bite of ice cream. Not a bowl, just a bite. So I got out a spoon, opened up the freezer and scooped out a bit from my ice cream carton. Yummy! Little did I know how cold my freezer must have been, because the second I put that delicious treat to my lips, tragedy struck. Not only did I not get to enjoy that bite of ice cream, but the spoon got stuck to my bottom lip.

I pulled and tried to pry the skin off of it, but the spoon wouldn't budge. And then, I panicked. Was this really happening? I couldn't think...all the logical solutions to fix this fell from my head, and so I did the only thing one who's panicked does...I ripped the spoon off my lip.

Holy pain. My lip was gushing blood, I was freaking out thinking I needed stitches, and all I could think of was that I needed to call my mom for help. Of course, two minutes into the mumbled conversation, her phone dies. I called my aunt next, the other nurse in our family. What should I do? But she didn't answer, her 7-year-old daughter Valeri did. "Mom's at her tennis lesson. What's the problem Shawna?," said Valeri. Through the mumbled mess of what happened, Valeri tried to coach me through it. "Get a wet paper towel and apply pressure," she said. Yes, the 7-year-old is smarter than me.

I calmed down, the bleeding slowed down and I went to assess the damage. My lip was as fat as Angelina's, a big, bloody, skinless mess. Funny, I'll pay good money for fat lips, but this was totally not worth it. All I wanted was a bite of ice cream!

So yes, I am an idiot. The lip is healing nicely, but still a bit fat and sensitive. So the lesson in this story? There are two: 1) never eat ice cream with a metal spoon, and 2) always take the advice of 7-year-old girls. They have much more sense than you'd think. Much more sense than me, anyway.

Day 595

First, I finished "Murder on the Orient Express". Very good, classic murder mystery with a surprise ending...no wonder it is a classic. I think it would be a very good beach read if anyone is heading there this summer. Any suggestions for my next read? I think that I'm going to have to finish some books I've already started before I move on to a new one.

Second, I finished my 100 things list, and let me tell you, there is no way that I would actually be able to actually play by the real rules and only live with 100 things. My list is very general, yet pretty much includes everything I own right now...with no room for additions.

Think it'd be easy for you? Take a look at my list and think again:
1. Running shoes
2. Slippers
3. Robe
4. Tank tops
5. Tshirts
6. Blouses
7. Button up shirts
8. Sweaters
9. Jackets
10. Polar fleeces
11. Coats
12. Suits
13. Dress pants
14. Jeans
15. Corduroys
16. Khakis
17. Leggings
18. Linen pants
19. Skirts
20. Running shorts
21. Pajama pants
22. Boxer shorts
23. Lingerie
24. Socks
25. Tights
26. Pantyhose
27. Swimsuits
28. Swimsuit cover ups
29. Sandals
30. Flip flops
31. Heels
32. Boots
33. Hiking boots
34. Uggs
35. Flats
36. Purses
37. Hats
38. Luggage
39. Gloves
40. Bath towels
41. Bath mat
42. Makeup
43. Makeup brushes
44. Toiletries
45. Cleaning supplies
46. Bed
47. Pillows
48. Bed linens
49. Dresser
50. Vanity
51. Jewelry box
52. Jewelry
53. Side tables
54. Trunk
55. Bath cabinet
56. Lamps
57. Photos
58. Books
59. Wall art
60. CDs
61. DVDs
62. Alarm clock
63. Vases
64. Religious items
65. iPod
66. iPod speakers
67. Silk flowers
68. Piggy banks
69. Candles
70. Bookcases
71. Coffee table
72. Couch
73. Rugs
74. Kitchen table
75. Hangers
76. Kitchen towels
77. TV
78. DVD player
79. Blanket
80. Filing cabinet
81. Yoga mat
82. Gym bag
83. Free weights
84. Cap & goggles
85. Kick board
86. Medicine ball
87. Tennis racket
88. Tennis balls
89. Christmas decorations
90. Front door wreaths
91. Laundry basket
92. Silverware
93. Kitchen utensils
94. Glassware
95. Cookware
96. Dinnerware
97. Wine opener
98. Laptop
99. Printer
100. Food

So maybe I'm just not meant to be a minimalist. I just realized that I left off camera, mirrors, tissues, laundry detergent and who knows what else...I'm going to need someone to organize me. Any ideas?

Day 594

I went over to my new apartment today to look at some of the current tenant's furniture, and I must say, I'm starting to get very nervous about how incredibly small it is. I have some furniture that I really don't want to have to sell or give away (like a bookcase, vanity and side tables), but I must make room for a wardrobe for additional hanging clothes storage. Therefore, I'm going to have to pass on her furniture (a small dresser and desk) and wait until I'm moved in to see what will fit. It's going to get a bit crowded in there, so I'm desperately trying to downsize and make this work without feeling uncomfortable or without.

This said, my co-worker today told me about this new minimalist movement called the 100 Things Challenge. Created by bloggers, it is a challenge to live simply by only keeping 100 things. Period. Certain people have had certain exceptions...for instance collections (like CDs, DVDs, tableware, books, etc.) only count as one item. But for most, when they count out their 100 things, they are really sticking to 100. That means counting out shoes, clothes, toiletries as part of their 100.

So yeah, there is no way that I would be able to be that strict with my list. My shoes, tshirts and makeup alone would equal 100. That aside, I think that I may try it, but with my own rules:
1. Clothing will count as a collective, like jeans, sweaters or shoes as one each.
2. Collections will also count as one for me. I have too many books and photographs for them not to.
3. Personal documents, such as bill records and tax statements will not count.

I know I'm cheating a bit, but this is a start. Not only will I be taking inventory, but also will be able to realize what is and is not important to me. Maybe the next step will be to really limit my life to 100 items, but this is Step 1. I'll update you with my list when it's finalized...wish me luck!

Day 592

Saturday morning at the Market.

A realtor brought a couple to view my house this morning, so I dashed out for a 2 hour stroll around the neighborhood. First to Bread and Chocolate to pick up my favorite Saturday morning breakfast (Norweigan Smoked Salmon with capers and cream cheese on an everything bagel). It was super crowded, so I got it to go and crossed the street to sit outside at Starbucks. It got hot early, but luckily I somehow managed to get a spot in the shade. I ate my yummy breakfast, sipped my iced coffee and read/people watched for a bit.

After Starbucks, I headed to Eastern Market to buy some fruit & veggies and browse at all the goodies for sale. I know I've talked about Eastern Market before, but it really is one of my favorite DC places. Not only is there a great farmers market on the weekend, but there are antiques and jewelry and knickknacks and some amazing artists and photographers that are always there to display their work.

This morning I bought some lettuce, berries and a cute pair of earrings (for $12), browsed for some mirrors and furniture (although nothing sparked my attention), and then just walked around to people watch, look at the art and try to do some ameteur photography. I'm not too impressed by my work, but I did capture a great pic of one of the artists working on his painting, but he got mad at me for taking the picture, so I won't post it out of respect to him.

Since I was up and at 'em early, there weren't a whole lot of people out yet, which is a good thing...it gets really crowded by the afternoon. Anyway, enjoy my Saturday morning...


The actual Eastern Market building (which housed bakeries, butchers and other food stands) burnt almost to the ground about two years ago...much work has been done to rebuild this historic landmark.




Fresh herbs at this table...the mint especially was a scented treat!


Yummy peaches smelled so sweet, and pieces were out to sample.


This made me wish I had a garden.


This woman was teaching her grandson how to tend to the plants...so sweet.




Soothing the crowds with his sax.

Day 589

Silly me has been boohoo-ing for the past two hours watching Tim Russert's memorial service on MSNBC. I found many parallels between he and my father, two great men who died entirely too young. The love in his heart and the strength of his character was alive in testimony after testimony of the life he lived. As was mentioned today, he was "a force of nature". And so was my father.

An optimist to a fault, dad always saw the glass half full. His favorite quote, "Isn't America great?" will forever live on tiled to the wall of our kitchen. At the time when dad asked me to tile it, I thought he was crazy. I thought it was so cheesy and embarrassing. Now I get what he meant. He loved his country. Only in America could he have made all his dreams come true. He loved serving others, he loved his team and he loved his family.

I watched this today, watched Luke Russert give his father's eulogy, as I did for dad, and remember the overwhelming pain, daze, exhaustion and numbness that I felt that Saturday in November. I saw him step up and take over the legacy of his father, and remember feeling I had to do the same. And thinking about it now, I don't think I've done dad justice.

He raised us to be better people, and for the past two years, I've still just been "going through the motions," as dad would always say. I know I've talked about this before, but I'm just the same as I was back then. I've been sitting back, hiding out and not being the person that I was and that I should become. It's time for me to step up and take the reigns on my life. It's time to start serving others instead of myself.

By the way, I think that Tim and dad, they might just get to be great friends up there in heaven. They were both larger than life, loved their friends and their families and loved their country.

I miss you dad, so much, and I love you.

Day 588

Little Rock, and the 10-year high school reunion, was way too much fun, hence my posting absence until tonight. I'm still trying to catch up on all my sleep, although now I'm stuck watching Game 6 of the NBA Finals, so looks like I won't be getting to bed early tonight either.

It was really so good to see and catch up with everyone, and I am very happy I spent the money and came home after all. I'll post some photos below, but just too warn you, it was two long, hot nights outside in Arkansas...not my best!

Some housekeeping from the last post: I didn't end up buying any of the three books I mentioned. The first one I really wanted, but they didn't have it in stock. The other two were entirely too big to tote around on the plane ride home. So I ended up with Agatha Christie's "Murder on the Orient Express". She's an author I've always wanted to read, and so far, she's exceeding my expectations. A very good read so far.

As for Father's Day on Sunday, well, I just tried not to think about it all weekend. I think the fact that I was a bit hungover and extremely tired on my travels home Sunday helped me get through the day. It didn't help that every flight attendant and random stranger on the plane brought it up, but luckily my hazy state of the day didn't get too affected.

I'm still not trying to think much about it, but everywhere I've looked this week has reminded me of him. Tim Russert's death, a Newsweek article on cancer, the NBA Finals. All unrelated, but still, I'm reminded hard of dad this week. And speaking of Tim Russert's death--what a untimely passing. My heart goes out to his friends and family. I can tell you first hand, his passing has been hard on many in Washington.

And now for many prayer requests: besides the many MSM '98ers that I found out were expecting, I now have 4 good friends who will be having babies! All your little beans are in my prayers ladies! And also, I found out another good friend's father has a malignant tumor in his eye. Please keep him and his family in your prayers as well.

Some photos from the weekend...since I'd rather just take the pictures than be in them, I only have a few with me in them. Please send some my way if you have them!


My thirsty friend in the Cleveland airport...I just thought this was too funny!


Stacey and I at the Friday night party.


Katie A, Kelly and I late night Friday.


Princess Ashley and I Saturday night.


Me, Stacey & Kel Saturday night.

Day 584

I must be going crazy. I was just home in May for a wedding...note in the previous post that I said it was 6 months since I'd last been to Little Rock. That last one was a quick trip, but geez, I can't believe I totally forgot about it all.

I am super exhausted today. As soon as I made it home yesterday, mom and I were off to do a million things around town, so I didn't actually get home until after 6 PM. Doesn't sound too late, but considering I had to wake up at 6 AM EST to drive to Balitmore and catch my flight...well, needless to say I was sleeping through our fajita dinner. Mom knows my favorites!

And yes, it is 7:30 AM and I'm up and typing. Mom woke me at 6:30 AM to take her to work so I could have her car for the day. That was nice, but mom, I'm on vacation! I took the dog out when I got home, and now I'm up for the day, so I thought I'd start typing.

Actually, I think I may go to the bookstore for some coffee and browsing, one of my favorite things to do when I have extra time on my hands (which is practically never). I have a book buying addiction. I can't even begin to tell you how many books I have at my home half-read, because I went out and bought another one I had to immediately start.

On my short list for today are:
"My French Life", by Vicki Archer (all the design bloggers are raving about this book)

"Apartment Therapy Presents: Real Homes. Real People. Hundreds of Real Design Solutions" (recommended by this month's O at Home...just to browse through, but I need some inspiration for my super small space)

"Jane Austen: The Complete Novels (ever since seeing "The Jane Austen Book Club" I have been dying to dive in to all of her works...I'm ashamed to say I've only read Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility)

That's what I'm searching for, but I'm also a sucker for a deal, so if something else on my "To Read" list (which is WAY too long) is on sale, I may be picking that up instead.

Day 582

This week has been crazy busy...two late nights at work and I've been trying to straighten up my house (it's a disaster area due to the move) and get ready for my trip home tomorrow. I'm heading to Little Rock in the AM to attend my 10-year high school reunion this weekend. I have to admit, I'm not as excited as the rest of my friends seem to be about the reunion. More curious than anything else.

I am excited, though, about going home to see my friends and my family. I haven't been home since my friends Katherine and Ben's wedding the first weekend of December. A lot has changed since then. I started writing and getting out of my funk. Mom graduated from nursing school and starting working. Neil got a job, moved back to Little Rock and he and Lindann bought and moved into a house. Marissa got into Physical Therapy school. Lots of changes in just 6 months.

Time goes by so quickly, doesn't it? In just 6 more months, Lindann will be a married woman (scary). Neil will be part of the Blair girls. Marissa will have finished her first semester of school and mom her first year of work. And dad will have been gone two years in November. Time really does go by fast.

Six more months for me and I will be 29 (and I can't even talk about that number). I will have completed my second Presidential Convention season, and will be working on final prep for the 2009 Presidential Inauguration. All that in just 6 months.

All this reflection today has made me think about what I have done in the past 10 years. My story is not going to be quite as normal as everyone else. No husband/boyfriend/ex-something/significant other. No children. No moving home and settling down.

My story isn't that unique either though. I think it's just my path. Not extraodinary. Just me.

College. Sorority. Too many jobs at once to pay for school. Extra semester. Graduation. Italy with my grandmother. Grad school. Dad gets sick. Washington internship. Grad courses complete. Pack my bags and move to DC. Don't get the job, another door opens. Move to Georgetown. Get my Senate dream job. Skip my trip to South Carolina to go home. Dad dies. Take a month, go back to work. Move to the Hill. Start trying to live again.

And now, 10-year reunion. Then live solo. The next part of my journey. And as I was telling my friend Betsy today, I'm really ready to start living my life again. To get out of this house, out of my shell and back to a better version of me. An older and wiser version of the fun-loving girl I used to be.

I think I changed a lot in high school, more so in college and even more so then afterward. I was trying so hard to be the version I thought I should be. Acted how I thought I was supposed to act to be the fun sorority party-girl. I neglected my studies, my leadership skills, and my fitness. I got lazy and I forgot to care about myself. Luckily, my drive and work ethic didn't fail me when I needed it to really kick it. I managed to squeeze by on natural talent, wisened up and finally worked it out to get where I am today.

Still not where I'd like to be, but at least now I have a clear head. Clear of what others think I should be, and focused on where I want to be. Funny though, I say "clear", but my head is nothing like that these days. It's racing with ideas and thoughts and worries and desires. See, I can't even focus on this post tonight...ramblings are what I do best lately. Well, this week anyway. Too much flying around to really focus.

Oh well. At least tomorrow I get a break for a bit. This weekend will be a good time to reflect, a good time to catch up with old friends and a time to take my mind off things for a while.

Day 577

I really have been meaning to pick up on my blogging lately, but this week I've just been occupied with either work or family. Wednesday night I even worked until 1:00 AM!! My grandparents have also been in town this week, and we've had lots of family activities...Valeri's 8th birthday, Matthew's 8th grade graduation (a high schooler now? I can't even believe it).

Also, I found an apartment this week! I'm signing my lease in about two hours, then heading over to my aunt & uncle's for dinner. Tomorrow I'm taking my grandparents home to West Virginia, so I'll be out of commission until I return home Sunday evening.

So, I have always been interested in design and decorating. I guess my style is a little vintage flea-market chic (think SATC's Carrie Bradshaw...organized clutter) mixed with dark palettes, crisp whites and a splash of color. I also feel it's very important to incorporate your personality into your home. Hence my clutter, I guess, because much of my "stuff" has historical or sentimental flare.

My new apartment is a basement apartment (for all you non-DCers, this is the basement of these huge Victorian townhomes turned into full service apartments). The location is fantastic--a block from a Metro stop and a block from Eastern Market, a farmers' market and weekend flea market. The neighborhood was also voted one of the ten best neighborhood's in America last year. Had to brag a bit.

Anyway, my new place is "cozy", meaning tiny. It's enough for one, and perfect for my narrow price range, but let's just say I'm having to downsize--majorly. I can't even talk about the closet space...I'm going to have to put up makeshift closets in corners and the hallway. Any idea where to store all my shoes? Craigslist.org is about to be my new best friend, because I'm going to put a lot of stuff up for sale. But since I'm having to rework (meaning reorganize) the way I live, I've been looking for smart ways to design and function in a small place.

Two of my favorite design magazines, domino and O at Home, both had great tips this month on living small but with personality. I highly suggest you check them out. Also, note some new blogs on my "sites I stalk" listings. Thanks to this Thursday's Washington Post's Home section, I've discovered some great new sites that I am now totally addicted to. Today was a slow (finally!) day at work, so I bounced from site to recommended site finding all sorts of eye candy and great ideas. Not only did it get me excited about starting over and finally having a place of my own (minus the ownership and right to totally redesign), but it also inspired me to seek out beauty everyday.

I am constantly eyeing art, clothes, books, artifacts I find appealing. It's not hard with the diversity and richness of this city. But what I need, or rather, hope to do is archive this and share it with you. I know I have been terrible, TERRIBLE, at taking and sharing pictures with you. I intend to change this, and hopefully this newfound excitement will inspire me to get out of my house and out to view the beauty of the city.

Also, since my future apartment is oh so small, I hope to use this as my "inspiration board". This is something I have been doing for years...pulling from magazines homes, art, photography...anything my eye catches and admires. I literally have hundreds of ideas just sitting in my filing cabinet. Maybe this way will be a little more green and a little more visual. Not to mention, much less cluttered.

Hmm, saving magazines, wishing for a bigger closet, typing away on my laptop, still pining for my own "Mr. Big" (we won't even go there today)...may I really am "A Carrie". If I only had her shoes, I could rule the world. Well, maybe just DC.

See the door under the stairs? Inside rests my future new home.

Day 574

A lot of thoughts and emotions have passed through my head this day.

Humility. Pride. Sadness. Joy. Excitement. Confusion. Inspiration.

Too many emotions for one person for one day. It's been a bit of a roller coaster. But at the end of the day, I'm laying my head down to rest on one great emotion: hope.

Hope that at the end of the day, there are good people out there fighting the good fight. Hope that tomorrow can be a better day. Hope that people can set aside their differences and join together for a better cause. Hope that a difference can be made.

This isn't only a political speech here. It's pretty much my theme for each day that passes. Many are hard. I'm confused and frustrated and worried, constantly worried, about what direction my life is headed. Hope is the only way for me to get through the day.

But what a day for politics too. Today was a historic moment for all American people. This is what I do, what I love. And to be a part of this history, well, it's priceless to me. And at the end of today, hope is what I'm left with. Hope is how I'm ending my day, and I couldn't be more pleased.

Day 570

It only takes a moment to have any and all questions of a Higher Power's existence reaffirmed. That Higher Power just saved my life tonight. Saved my life and answered my "Where are You in my life?" question in a split second.

About an hour ago, I had just left my aunt & uncle's house and was heading home on Canal Road. It's a dark, winding road just off the B & O Canal that connects two rivers on the Georgetown Waterfront. There's about 3 miles between lights, with only a small section in the middle for yielding oncoming traffic. To the North, the road Ys up the hill to some houses. To the South, the road splits down the hill to the boat docks at the Canal. Both splits yield to the traffic on Canal Road.

Since it's a quick thoroughfare between two parts of the city, it's a regular practice to drive pretty fast on the road. The speed limit is 35 mph, but it's common for people to be driving 50-60 mph during rush hour. Tonight, I was going b/w 40-45 mph, primarily because it was a nice night out and I was just enjoying the drive. That is, until some jackass almost killed me.

I was heading East on Canal Road, and was approaching the part of the road where the cars coming up from the boat docks should be stopping to wait for me to pass. Well, the jackass decided he wanted to gun it and beat me to the road. Keep in mind, I have NO STOP, NO YIELD, NOTHING. I had the right of way 100%.

So the jackass is flying up on my right, and thank you God for making my side mirror flicker, because the jackass was literally inches from smashing into me before I saw the flicker and swerved into the other lane. And thank you God that the lane just happened to widen at that one spot. And thank you God that the two cars in oncoming traffic saw the whole incident as it was about to happen and therefore swerved as I swerved. Thank you God for saving me tonight. It could have been VERY ugly.

My heart has finally settled back into my chest and I'm calm again, but the whole rest of the way home, I couldn't help to think what could have happened. It could have been Lindann's accident all over again. I could have been a lot worse. It was very possible I could have been sideswipped and then smashed head on. Even possible I could have flown off the cliff and into the canal. But God, you were there, and you saved me. I know it was You. Even after all my doubt over the years, my questioning and my doubt, not in You, but maybe Your intentions, You showed up tonight and showed me You're still my guy.

Thank You. It really does take times like these for me to sit back and understand how everything really is in Your hands. I may not like how everything goes. But I do know there is a rhyme and a reason for it all. Tonight was not my night to be hurt. Not even a scratch, on me or my car. Your protection was, and always is, a great gift. Thank You.

Oh, and the jackass? He pointed and laughed as he flew ahead of me, flying down the road at very high speeds toward Georgetown. I passed him at a light and just shook my head. I was so angry, so furious that there is that much carelessness out there in the world. But he was not my battle to fight tonight.

Day 568

Today was one of the more productive days I've had in quite a long time. Went to get my car inspected and the renewed my car registration. Cleaned out my closets for Goodwill giveaways. Did 5 loads of laundry. Two loads in the dishwasher. Went to the grocery store. Cooked a big pot of chicken spaghetti for dinner and to freeze for future dinners. Cleaned the kitchen. Etc. Etc.

Whew. I'm exhausted now. Since I'm quite possibly the world's worst procrastinator and piddler, I have to admit that I'm giving myself a little pat on the back right now. Gold stars for Shawna! It's nice to be this productive all day long.

Last year, my move somehow had snuck up on me, so I ended up moving all this "stuff" with me into my new house. When I mean stuff, I mean magazines and clothing and books and knickknacks I haven't even looked at in years. Yes, I am a huge pack rat, but I promise that I'm trying to change this.

I seem to attach sentimental value to just about everything. I keep notes and dried flowers from old flames, magazine articles I may need to reference again one day (thanks Mom for that habit), Halloween (and college function) costumes, clothes I just may fit back into again. I even have my Homecoming Court dress hanging in my closet. Sad, huh? I won't let Mom throw that one out though...for some reason, I see my daughters playing dress-up in it one day.

Until now, I've been able to carry this past with me move after move, city after city. But now, I'm ready to shed some of this weight and travel a little bit lighter. Sort of a metaphor for my life now, huh? Literally and figuratively, it's time to clean house and lighten up.

There are things I still won't be giving away. The Homecoming Court dress, of course. But other little things too. Chi Omega initiation relics. High school newspaper clippings. My collection of maps and "Hoggie" banks. My books and my pictures. These things will stay with me. I think there is something to be said for preserving a bit of visual history of myself, and since scrapbooking is no longer my thing, I trace my years in these "things" I hold onto so tightly.

But the clutter, the space takers that I've forgotten all about--these things need to go. Trends that have come and gone have no place for my closets anymore. It looks like I've been spoiled for way too long now with good closet space, and unfortunately, I think this will be ending shortly. Guess that makes for no better time than now to clean house.

Day 566

Today marks my 5th Memorial Day I have lived in Washington, DC. Officially my 4th year of living in Washington...the year before I moved up in May and home in September upon the end of an internship. Sometimes it feels like I've lived here forever. Somedays, it feels like I just moved in.

Washington is very much a transient city. People come and go as quickly as the seasons change, making it a very difficult place at times to not only make but keep friends. Every two years a new crop of doey-eyed freshman enter the city with pep in their step, hoping to change the world. Unfortunately, there's no money in the world-changing business, and with the cost of living here, it's hard to get by for long on a government paycheck.

So people move on, go back to school, back to their home state to take what they've learned in our Nation's Capital and make their mark. Washington, for many, isn't a place to call home; more a work hard, play hard boarding school for adults. Then there are people like me, content with the pace of the city and the work that I do. There's something missing, yes, but for now, I am okay living and playing and working in this city where so many just pass on through long enough not to be a tourist.

Unfortunately, friends drift in and out of this town way too quickly, and I am quickly approaching another one of those seasons. Many friends are leaving town by the end of the summer. Many are trying to figure out just what they are doing with their lives. My friends here are different from my friends at home. Almost none of us are settled down. Most have great, but demaning jobs. Almost none are homeowners, or have children, or have family nearby. Most make a good living, but still have trouble budgeting this expensive town. And most, including me, still don't know what it is they want with their life.

It gets so tiring constantly worrying and trying to figure things out. Where to go, what to do, who to be. I know what I need to do...continue to focus on my health, enjoying my work and seeking out activities that I love. But knowing and doing are two different things, and too many times I hide out rather than face the world. I feel like it's going to be like another job just getting out there and meeting new people. Maybe it is, but it's something I'm going to have to face here soon. Here goes I guess...seasons are a changing in Washington again.