Day 1209

Day 28 of Wonderful: Not Acting Your Age



Yes, that would be me last night, before I headed out to my friends' Jersey Shore themed party. If you haven't seen the show before, it's an MTV sensation about a group of ridiculous Italian-American kids who partied it up on the Jersey Shore last summer. I was dressed up as "Snookie", one of the main characters...and I must admit, I'm pretty sure I could have passed as her identical twin sister:



Anyway, it was all in fun, and very fun it was.

So today marks the end of my 28 Days of Wonderful, and I am so glad that I took on this project. I've learned a lot, but mostly that looking at the wonderful in life is the best way to live it. Sadly, this day did not end in wonderful. I found out that someone I trusted and cared for deeply betrayed my trust. But I did learn some very valuable lessons:

1) Always trust your gut.
2) Always trust your girlfriends.

As for that asshole, I can do so much better and deserve so much more than you. I suppose it's wonderful that I've finally learned now what I should have learned long ago. And it's wonderful that I've decided to finally get you out of my life.

Day 1208

Day 27 of Wonderful: Loving Thy Skin



You all should know by now my feelings about a woman taking some time for herself, and the same can be said for a woman feeling confident in her appearance. When it comes to makeup, I feel like your teens and 20s are the time to experiment and play, but by my age, you should feel comfortable in your routine and how you dress your face.

For me, I like to keep it classic and natural for work wear, put on as little as possible when out and about on the weekends, but add a bit of drama for nights out on the town. By now I've got my technique down, but it's still fun to play a bit and get tips from the experts. So you can imagine my excitement today when I went to Neiman's to get new face cream and Bobbi Brown's NYC makeup team was there for Beauty Days.

I must admit, there isn't a whole lot that I am high maintenance about, but my skin routine is definitely one of them. Sadly, I've been cursed with bad skin pretty much my whole life, and now that I've hit the 30 mile marker, am insistent on my routine and doing all I can to keep my skin healthy. That means drinking my allotment of water and green tea each day, cleansing, medicating, sunscreening, moisturizing and treating it with a delicate touch. And I do feel that the routine I've stuck to for the past few years has paid off, because it looks better now than it ever has before.

Anyway, as I said, I went in for moisturizer and came out with a whole new look. It wasn't for me, I wear golds and other warm colors much better, but had her try some fun silver, greys and blues on my just for fun. And I'm glad I did, because now I feel reaffirmed that I know my skin and myself well enough to know what works for me and what doesn't. It's funny, I sat down in the makeup artists chair for a fun day of experimentation, but left with a renewed sense of self. I know myself, what works for me and what is best left for others, and I feel pretty good about that.

Now that being said, I'm off to get ready for a Jersey Shore costume party. And no, of course I did not hit the tanning bed beforehand...I'm trying to prevent wrinkles thank you very much. But I am going to have to let my skin take a bit of a beating, just for tonight and pound on two tons of makeup. Don't you worry though, I've already got an arsenal of moisturizer underneath, and will be detoxing my face as soon as I wake up tomorrow.

The price we pay for beauty...

Day 1207

Day 26 of Wonderful: (500) Days of Summer



In a word, adorable. I have been wanting to see this movie since I just missed it in the theatres, and tonight, I finally got the treat I've been waiting for. As the movies says, "This is not a love story." But it is a story about love. It is charming and real and original and really funny. This just might rank up there with one of my new favorites, and tomorrow, I think I'm going to have to rush out and buy it, and the soundtrack to match. (500) Days of Summer...definitely a breath of fresh air.

Day 1206

Day 25 of Wonderful: Extraordinary Strength

http://arkansasmatters.com/content/video/?cid=293332

No photo today, but the link above will serve in its place.

You may remember 8 months ago today when I wrote of the tragic loss of my good friend Sarah and Taylor's baby girl, who passed on prior to her birth. I can't even imagine the pain, anger, frustration and agony a parent must feel to lose a child, especially before ever getting to see her first smile, first laugh, first coo or even take her first breath. Sarah and Taylor are such amazing people, and it's really hard for me to still hear the struggles they go through day-to-day as they are still grieving their beautiful Mamie.

Recently, Sarah was interviewed (linked above) in Little Rock representing an organization she has recently become part of, Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. This is a group of photographers who volunteer their services to families who have just lost a baby at birth. Sarah and Taylor were blessed to have photographs taken of sweet Mamie, which they cherish more than words can say. And now, Sarah, who is an amazing photographer herself, is giving back to those who may suffer the unexplainable tragedy that she did 8 months ago. In the interview, Sarah tells her story, and talks about the organization itself.

Sarah, I am so proud of you each and every day. For your strength, your unwavering faith in God, and the love that you and Taylor share. You teach all of us how to survive through the worst imaginable circumstances, and I inspire to grow my faith as yours is.

Please continue to pray for Sarah and Taylor. Although our situations differ so greatly, I understand that the grieving process is a long, hard road until the fog lifts. You never forget, and the pain never quite goes away, but you finally are able to start feeling normal and live again. I love you guys, and am so proud of all you do and hold dear.

Day 1205

Day 24 of Wonderful: The Elliptical



When the elliptical first became popular many moons ago, I hated it. HATED IT! I've always had bad knees, even had both operated on long ago when I was still a competitive swimmer, and working out on the elliptical machine really, really hurt them. So when I moved into my new place and tried out my exercise room for the first time, you could imagine my disappointment to see the only cardio machine was an elliptical.

But come winter, there was no way I was going outside in the cold and the elements to run, so I went back down to override my hatred and feel the burn. The first day was miserable. My knees hurt so bad and I was cursing the exercise gods the whole time. But the next day, I got back on, and you know what...it wasn't quite as bad.

And now...I LOVE the elliptical. It lifts me up when I need a major boost. And today, I needed one more than ever. After weeks and weeks of trying to stay positive, the winter blues hit me hard with the news of yet more snow starting tomorrow. So I got on the elliptical, cranked up my tunes, and started feeling much better. I've very thankful that I have an elliptical just two floors down...as my aunt would say, "It's my prozac." Well, today it was anyway.

Day 1204

Day 23 of Wonderful: Birds a Chirping



This is what I am so ready for...the flowers blooming, the birds out singing in numbers. You know what? It may not be as far away as I had thought. Today, while leaving work, I was thrilled to hear not the stillness of the winter air but a few birds chirping. Be still my heart! The birds are back and singing! Spring will be here before we know it! Next up, melted snow and buds on trees. Praise the Lord, the sun is making it's way!

Day 1203

Day 22 of Wonderful: Breakfast for Dinner



Garlic Spicy Cheese Grits, Turkey Bacon and Blueberry Pancakes...I'm not going to lie, thinking of coming home to cook this is honestly what got me through the last half of my work day today. Do you remember the other day when I talked about needing motivation? Well today, my motivation came in the form of comfort food, and comfort food is what I had. Surprisingly though, this was well in my limits for my caloric intake for the evening. Comfort food and good for me? Yes please. Breakfast for dinner? Absolutely anytime.

Day 1202

Day 21 of Wonderful: Daydreaming





Another busy day, starting with church and followed by an afternoon of running errands and then cleaning, laundry and fixing things in my house. For Lent, I gave up chocolate (been craving it way too much lately) but also took on going to church each Sunday.

I'm glad I went today; the homily was really great..all about trust in your relationships and in God, which is something I have been focusing on especially lately in my thoughts and prayers. But there was one story that our priest told that hit me a little too hard, and pretty much turned my hopeful day into an off one with just a few words. He related our trust in God to a little girl, standing on the edge of a pool, with her father inside, urging her to jump. I realize the point he was making, but still, it really got to me. Lately, I have been thinking about dad a lot, and really, really missing him so much it hurts.

So anyway, I'm glad that I was busy for the rest of the day, but even so those aching thoughts kept creeping back to me every so often. I got frustrated and short, and really the only thing to pull me out of it was to focus my thoughts on my two favorite places to daydream about...a Caribbean beach or Paris.

Quick sidenote: I am DYING to go to both. The Caribbean, probably more so now because I am so done with the cold weather, and Paris, well, because it's Paris. My Paris obsession has gone a bit overboard lately, and as you will soon find out in the next few weeks or so.

Anyway, I know it sounds crazy, but at least when I tell myself to slow down and think one of these two places, surrounded by my favorite people, it really does calm me. Then I can start focus on slowing my heart rate down and pushing the tears back. And then I direct my thoughts and prayers on trusting God has put me exactly where I should be. I think happy thoughts and pray for God to give me trust and patience, in every part of my life. Trust and patience...what I feel I need most in my life. Well, that, and a destination above. But for now, I can daydream anytime I want.

Day 1201

Day 20 of Wonderful: Afternoon Naps



Come to Momma.

There really is not much better after a busy weekend morning than coming home to a late afternoon nap. I realize I have repeated this many, many times in my writing, but naps are just going to have to be in my life, one way or another.

I have been so incredibly tired this week for some reason, I almost feel like a mono relapse has come again. Not just sleepy, but completely worn out. I need this to shake off because come Monday, it's going to be busy season once again.

Day 1200

Day 19 of Wonderful: Old Photographs

A bit of a change in format tonight, but something special is below...

I was looking for something in my keepsake chest the other day when I found a huge stack of old photographs. I was in a hurry, so put them aside, but picked them up this evening and was delighted at what I found.

In the stack were old school pictures of me from elementary school and high school, baby photos and even my 7th grade Cotillion Holly Ball 1st Runner-Up Queen photo (don't get me started). And then there were a lot of photos of dad, looking so young and strong and with a huge smile on his face. My favorite way to remember him. What a great surprise to run across these memories...many of which I thought had been lost along the way. Lots of wonderful pictures to share tonight. I had to take pictures of the pictures though, so some of the photos are a bit distorted.



Me, Marissa and Lindann (screaming her head off). One of my favorites.



My cousin Ashley and I at my Aunt Nancy & Uncle Paul's wedding. I was a somewhat-blondie, until I turned about 3.



I was most definitely a little sun child.



This came out the most distorted of the bunch, but anyway, I think this was 1st grade. Mom obviously forgot to brush my hair that morning, but sure didn't forget to make me wear my dress with a tie. Oh, the '80s.



7th grade Holly Ball and my 13th birthday. Nice braces, huh? That was my absolute favorite dress ever that day...made especially for me! Still bitter about that damn crown though...always a bridesmaid! Just kidding guys.



My Uncle Mark and dad. I was probably about 3 at the time. They just got finished building a deck at our house...nice reward, huh?



This was from before I was born...I think mom and dad may not have even been married yet. It's one of my favorites of dad...describes his personality perfectly. Loved living life.

I can't believe that today marks 1,200 days since dad died. Some days, the wound is so fresh that it feels like it happened yesterday. Some days, I have trouble remembering when he could still call me up and say, "Shawna Blair, this is your dad calling..." But every day, I miss him more than you could ever know. Old photographs though...they sure do seem to help remember the good times.

Day 1199

Day 18 of Wonderful: Guilty Pleasures



Okay, I apologize again for falling asleep last night. I had every intention to post, but crawled in bed last night early to cozy up and read/watch some Olympics first, and fell asleep while doing so. Oops.

So here's my wonderful from yesterday...guilty pleasures. I have more than a few, that's for sure, but one I love to indulge in is what we call in Washington the "Inside Scoop". I suppose in the rest of the world it would be plain old glorified gossip, but since I work amongst the scribes who do the digging in get the story, I prefer to use "Inside Scoop". Much more official and dignified, don't you agree?

In Washington these days, there is no greater source of the Ultimate Inside Scoop than "Game Change", by the New Yorker's John Heilemann and Time Magazine's Mark Halperin. And let me tell you, this is serious, hardcore political inside scoop nerd porn. Fascinating, in every juicy detail it unfolds.

So if you like to indulge as I do in this love of mine, I highly recommend this book. Scandals aside, it really is fascinating to see the inner workings of campaigns and what really drives the decisions that are made. And a few sex scandals thrown in never hurts the press either.

Day 1198

Day 17 of Wonderful: Belated Valentine's Day



I got another Valentine's Day surprise today, this time from my mom and sister, which because of the blizzard just arrived today. You all should know by now how I feel about getting presents in the mail...Yippee! Marissa made these beautiful earrings and necklace for me, and mom sent me Round 1 of the hundreds of Christmas ornaments she bought for me after Christmas. I'm told I'll also be getting these as Easter, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Arbor Day, Thanksgiving and my birthday presents this year...she bought that much. Which means only one thing...more presents in the mail to look forward to this year. Yippee!

Day 1197

Day 16 of Wonderful: Cooking and Red Wine



Tonight's menu: Lentil Soup

My new motto should be, "Cooking makes it all a little bit better. Red wine, even more so."

Still not feeling my best today. Still achy and lethargic and I just can't seem to shake it. I walked to the bank and to Whole Foods today in the frigid temperature, hoping it would do me good to get out in the brisk air. Getting my blood flowing outdoors did help a bit, but the feet of now black snow piled high on the street side just made me more depressed that yet more snow may be coming this Sunday.

I'm sure the lack of sun has something to do with me...always seems to help feel better when the sun is shining down on me.

But I've also been thinking about dad a lot lately, and it's not the happy memories I thankfully welcome. This morning I had a dream that I was a little bit older, living back in Little Rock and taking my young kids to a swim meet at UALR. They saw a picture of dad on the wall and said, "Look mom, it's grandpa. Coach is watching our race." I've never had a thought like that before, about what my kids will miss out on never knowing him. It's really, really hard to think about; really hard to even write at this moment.

So tough thoughts on top of the looming winter on top of not feeling my best...the only thing that I can do to make today a bit easier is cooking and a glass of red wine. I'm a slow cook but a fairly good cook...limited in what I know, but that will get better with time and practice. It's a bit hard cooking for one, but I'm trying to do it more and more anyway. Because when I get in the kitchen to cook, everything else just seems to fade to the background. It has to in order for me to concentrate on the meal I am preparing.

So tonight I peeled and I diced and I sauteed and I stirred, and now I'm sitting back with a glass of red wine, listening to the classical music of the figure skating in the background, and trying to focus on the good of my day. Good friends, amazing family, great job, a home of my own, hopes and dreams to look forward to. Wonderfully blessed, even on the tough days.

Day 1196

Day 15 of Wonderful: Motivation



Everyone needs a little motivation to push them further toward their goals. Today, I seem to need a whole lot of it to keep me on my right path. Despite my pampering last night, it's just not my day. I'm achy, my energy is zapped and I am just having a hard time keeping my head clear, focused and positive.

On days like this, I typically take to comfort food and sleep to make me feel better. Thing is, it never really helps all that much. I know this, but it is just so, so easy to fall back into bad patterns when tired and not feeling right.

What I needed was a big boost of motivation.

When I started my wellness competition with my friend Beth, I hung my absolutely favorite dress ever outside my closet door in my bedroom. It may look like a plain, black lace dress from the picture, but let me tell you something...it is absolutely freaking fantastic. And when I finally get into the shape I need to wear it again (and that means without the help of Spanx), there will be no denying that. I will be something to talk about.

Sexy, confident, smoking hot...this dress has it all. And seeing it each day, visualizing it on me once again...well...this is why this dress is my biggest motivation.

Today I am halfway through my 28 Day Project, and even for this, today I needed some serious motivation to find something positive to write about. But I looked at the dress and it reminded me of how far I've come, in so many ways, and how much further I have to go. Motivation can change your frame of mind. It is a very wonderful thing.

This 28 Day Project has been motivation of another kind, and I am so glad I began it. It has forced me to find the positive in each day, and usually, once I find one positive, the whole rest of the day seems to take a turn for the brighter. It's so easy in the hustle and bustle of everyday life to worry and grumble too much throughout the day. I think it is in our human nature to interact with people that way...complain about the weather, the traffic, your coworkers, your troubles. Be too chipper and people start to wonder just what's wrong with you. But chipper is exactly what I need more of, and searching for the positive is rewiring my way of thinking.

Motivation of another kind. Motivation for a greater peace of mind. With that, everything else seems to fall into place. Seems my motivation is more of a blessing in disguise.

What's your motivation or way to get through the tough days? Any suggestions would be warmly received!

Day 1195

Day 14 of Wonderful: Bubble Bath



I find it absolutely necessary for a woman to pamper herself every once and awhile, and what better day to do so than a Valentine's Day home alone. So after treating myself to a dinner of steak, pasta, red wine and vanilla ice cream with a big triple chocolate cookie for dessert, I felt it was in my best interest to turn off the television, turn on the classical music, and just soak. Sometimes a touch of relaxation is all you need to rejuvenate the soul.

Day 1194

Day 13 of Wonderful: Flowers at My Doorstep



I was taken aback when I came home tonight and saw this sweet surprise sitting at my front door. Beautiful pink tulips, one of my very favorites.

Thank you. They are, in a word, wonderful. Happy Valentine's Day.

Day 1193

Day 12 of Wonderful: XXI Winter Olympics



I may not be a winter sports kind of girl, but I love, love, love the Olympics. The triumph of the win and the agony of defeat...it reaches the heights of human emotions in every aspect, and leaves me in tears pretty much every night. To work so hard all of your life to achieve such greatness...as dad would say, "It doesn't get much better than this."

I'm retiring to my couch early tonight for a bit of rest and relaxation and to watch the Opening Ceremonies. Goodnight, and hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

***On another later note, my heart goes out to the Georgian Olympic Team and to the family and friends of Nodar Kumaritashvili, the luger who was killed in a crash during a training run today. He was only 21 years old. What a terrible tragedy on a day that is supposed to be filled with such hope and joy. Truly heartbreaking. My prayers go out to them all.

*****And on even later note, I've already started crying and we're only on Austria in the parade of athletes. Oh Lord...let the games begin.

Day 1192

Day 11 of Wonderful: Lauren Merkin Clutch



There are some days when a woman just needs a tiny bit of retail therapy. For me, today is definitely one of those days. After four days of being a single mother snowed-in with four kids, I welcomed my day back into work today. Work, however, did not seem to welcome me back quite as eagerly.

When I got home late tonight, I wracked my brain to find my "Wonderful" for the day, but my mind was blank. That is, until this beautiful creation fell into my inbox...a coveted Lauren Merkin clutch, on sale almost 80% off at Neimans. Sequins and the nude color I'm craving for the Spring that won't seem to come? Yes please, I'll take it.

And you know what? I feel better already. Thank you Lauren Merkin, for making such beautiful arm candy. You literally have made my not-so-much snow day a bit brighter.

Day 1191

Day 10 of Wonderful: Hot Chocolate



Make no mistake, this is not a lame attempt at a post because I can't come up with anything else. Hot chocolate has been my savior in this stir crazy driven house. It instantly makes the kids happy, which instantly makes me happy. A simple decadence I rarely indulge in anymore...I'm more of a hot tea girl these days. But this mug you see was my first of it this season, and I must say, there is still nothing better that a big mug of hot chocolate, with marshmallows...especially after spending time outside in a blizzard. Yummy and wonderful.

Day 1190

Day 9 of Wonderful: Zoolander



I apologize for being a day late...I accidentally fell asleep before posting this last night.

What can I say...Zoolander is one of my all time favorite movies. It is so ridiculously stupid, and I love it. I can quote the entire movie and still laugh out loud at its idiocy...but it is such a guilty pleasure for me.

My aunt and uncle are both out of town this week, so I'm staying with the kids. Yesterday, Valeri and I decided to get out of the house while the snow was at bay and run a few errands. We went to my house first to pick up a few things...Scrabble, some clothes and some movies, and she discovered Zoolander...the VHS. Yes, that's how long I've carried it with me. So we went off to Target so I could finally upgrade to the DVD, and topped it off with some popcorn and hot chocolate to get ready to get snowed in all over again last night.

And boy did we ever. Wow, you should see how hard the snow is falling out my window right now. I feel a little stupid shoveling snow for two hours yesterday (although it's a great upper body workout), because it looks like I'm going to have to do it all over again tonight, once the snow stops again, in order to get to work tomorrow. They say another 2 feet is going to fall before tonight...I say it's quickly piling up to reach that.