Day 1512

Yes, I know, I totally blew it on this recent project. But I promise, I have a really good excuse. Since Christmas Eve, I have had the full on stomach virus. And let me just say, for the record, Christmas Eve was probably one of the worst days I've ever had...and that's saying a lot, because I've had a lot of not-so-great days. To sum it up, I had Day 1 of the full-on stomach virus, but still arrived at the airport at 3:30 PM to be followed by an 8-hour flight delay that finally got me to Memphis at 1 AM on Christmas morning, then my fabulous sister and brother-in-law picked me up from Memphis and drove me home to Little Rock, final arrival time after 3 AM on Christmas Day. Let me just tell you for the record, the airport is probably one of the top 10 places you don't want to be stuck at while with a stomach virus. Ugh, it was awful. Anyway, I'm slowly but surely feeling better...still a bit queasy this morning, but hopefully today will go off without a hitch so I can actually see some friends tomorrow before I leave on Thursday morning back to DC. So this trip isn't exactly as I'd planned it. But at least I've had these 5 days off work to just sleep and recoup...sometimes that's all your body needs. Here's to better and healthier days in 2011!

Day 1407

Something very strange is happening.

I am not a morning person. Never have been, never will be...or so I thought. For some odd reason, for the past few weeks now I seem to be waking up, on my own, between 5:00 and 6:00 am. Every morning. Oh wait...this Sunday morning my body did let me sleep in until 6:30 am. Seriously? What is happening? Me, the person who loves sleep more than anyone else, save my sister Marissa...it's just not right.

So what does a girl decide to do rather than fight her body's (un)natural instincts? Embrace it! Yes, I somewhat happily jumped out of bed this morning at 5:15 am to get a start on my day. I worked out, cooked breakfast, checked my email, read the paper, blew out my hair and even went to vote, all before leaving for work at 8:15 am.

Now I see what I've been saying all these years is true...the busier I am, the more productive I become. Too bad I haven't started back to graduate school yet...I'd be flying through those lectures at this rate.

Hmm, what to do tomorrow morning? Guess I could also tackle my Goodwill donation for the season...or work on that novel I always pondered. Imagine the possibilities of my new found early rising!

Day 1401

I'm stealing this from one of my favorite bloggers, Erin at Elements of Style, but I love this too much not to share! Enjoy, and I hope you all embrace your days ahead as I will strive to do!

Day 1181

I know, I know...it's been two weeks since my last post. But geez, these last two weeks have been so incredibly busy. The Senate came back in to start the Second Session of the 111th Congress, and I have been moving nonstop ever since. My house is a mess, my laundry is piled up, my fridge is empty...it's been a busy two weeks.

Last Wednesday, President Obama came to the Capitol to address a Joint Session of Congress and the American people for his State of the Union address. Cameras are strictly forbidden in the House Chamber, save a few professional photographers, but the real action is what goes on after the speech. The Congressional Press Corp fills Statuary Hall, and once Congressmen and Senators file out of the House, chaos ensues and the news stories come alive. This year, I decided to observe the moments just after the speech from the balcony right above outside a coworker's office...





But it hasn't been all work and no play. Last weekend, friends and I had a ridiculously fun night at my new favorite spot, George. And this Saturday, with the snow piling down on the city, I went out to watch the #7 Georgetown vs. #8 Duke game at the Verizon Center. It was amazing! Georgetown smoked Duke...Go Hoyas!...and we were sitting in this sweet box, right above President Obama and Vice President Biden.



I know the Yankee in my blood has officially come to life, because today I braved the ice and snow to pick up my cousin Jack and take him to see Avatar 3D. I wasn't really all that stoked about seeing it, but I promised him I would so off we went. And wow, was I more than presently surprised. It was SO AWESOME!!! Seriously, one of the coolest experiences watching it, so if you haven't seen it yet, run to your theaters before it's gone.

Oh yeah, and on top of all that, I've been trying to read my new book, "Game Change". Much more on this later, but it is very, very interesting. So now, I must get ready for bed and another busy week. Goodnight all!

Day 1129

I've been working, working, working this December away (oh, except for when I've been sleeping off the lingering cold that keeps bogging me down). However, I did get the best early birthday present ever...my birthday off of work on Saturday! Thanks to the best boss ever, he's working for me. Hooray! We're all a slave to health care reform these days, but I am very thankful for him picking up this extra time for my big day.

Oy vey, 30 it is. Not sure yet how I'm feeling about this big birthday, but I have a feeling it's going to hit me like a two ton truck Sunday morning. (Might have something to do with all the champagne I'll be drinking too).

So what to do about it? I did what any girl would do to prep for the doomed 3-0...got a new haircut, my party dress picked out, my nails painted pretty. All a front? Maybe, but at least I'll feel good facing a new decade. That and show up with a smile.

Day 1122

Here's how this girl has been living the past few days:



Chicken noodle soup, a steady rotation of orange juice and hot green tea, cough drops, tissues upon tissues, a stack of magazine, TV remote right up front and a sorry attempt at unwritten Christmas cards...yes kids, it's time for my annual December cold.

Dumb Disney World and its germs. Hopefully this will be knocked out by Friday, just in time for me to work all weekend.

For now it tea time, then a heavy dose of Tylenol PM and off to bed! I have another early morning tomorrow. Busy, busy December. Someone cure me quick!

Day 1095

You know, it's funny how these "milestones" sort of creep up on your emotions. A lot of tragedies have happen to friends and acquaintances this year, and being someone who's experienced such a heartbreak, I've tried to be there how others can't. I've tried to reassure them that, although you never forget and the hurt never goes away, it does get easier.

And for the most part, that's true. It has been easier lately, so much easier. I don't walk around in a fog like I used to, but there are moments when it hurts just as bad as the day after dad's death. Actually, I take that back, because looking back, those first few days were easy. Easy because you are so numb, you barely remember the pain. The hard days are what comes after. Six months later, or a year, when people tend to forget what has passed or expect you to be healed. But the years goes by and and the bad months turn to bad weeks, then bad days and bad moments.

Sunday marks three years, and my bad months and bad weeks are gone. Happily, my bad days are much less frequent. The bad moments, though, they still creep up on me all the time. Watching a commercial, looking at a picture, hearing a song...random things that trigger this burning inside, the lump in my throat, and the tears swelling in my eyes. Sometimes it lasts only seconds, or maybe minutes. But it fades away and leaves me with just a memory of someone I miss more than I can explain.

I try to be there for others, to comfort them and help them know they have strength they never knew. We all do, sometimes it just takes a tragedy to bring it out. Maybe that's still part of my therapy, helping those feel better than I did when I couldn't help myself. All I know is it's been three years Sunday, but tonight, it feels like an eternity ago, and it's wearing me down. Must be having one of those extended moments.

Day 1093

You know, I must be a glutton for punishment, because I keep making the same mistakes again and again and again. Why is it so hard for me to learn the first time? Or the second? Or even the third? When I'm getting stressed out, I need to take time to myself for yoga or meditation. When I'm tired and not feeling right, I really need to focus on eating especially healthy and working out. When someone treats me wrong, I need to forgive, but not let them keeping doing it again and again.

See, I know this. I know this more than anyone, because I know me more than anyone. But for some reason, I don't care. Instead of taking time out, I keep on going. Instead of working out and eating right, I pick up food and go straight to bed. Instead of letting go, I let the same patterns continue.

I know better. Now it's time for me to finally do something about it.

Day 1081

This has been my longest stretch in some time. Busy girl lately, and it seems like all I've been doing lately is working myself into a frenzy...about my new home, work, family, men...you know, life as usual.

So much so that this week, I have been banished from my office until my fever subsides. It has, so hopefully my boss will let me come back tomorrow, because I am about to go stir crazy locked up here in my condo.

Before this week, I had been keeping busy out of the office too. Finally. Birthday parties, football watch parties, Widespread Panic/Allman Brothers concert, a weekend back home...it's been a fun month.

Anyway, I feel a lot better today, and hopefully more so tomorrow so I can go watch the Razorbacks whoop up on Ole Miss this Saturday morning. Of course, it's on the SEC network, so I have to actually leave my house in order to watch it. Ah, the hardships of living on the East Coast during football season.

And a photo to add...be jealous, very jealous. Front row at the show.

Day 1023

Must be the looming end of summer, the sad absence of any sort of tan on my shoulders, or the itching desire for a bit of travel, adventure and the mischief that comes with, but I've spent the past few days daydreaming of exotic locals.

I'd rather be here:





Or perhaps a quick trip to Napa:



Or a long European vacation:









Anywhere but here:

Day 1012

So a lot has been going on in the three weeks since I've posted. Judge Sotomayor was confirmed by the Senate as an Associate Justice of the United States Supreme Court. In that work period, the Senate also passed a number of bills that were tough to get through--meaning many long nights for myself and my coworkers.

I also caught up with old friends, and celebrated the last weekend of a very dear friend who moved from Washington to Arkansas. Two friends moved away this summer...seems like a chapter has closed.

But a new one is beginning. All week I've been in Little Rock, and after a quick trip to the lake for a wedding, have been catching up with all my very best of friends in Arkansas. I've met new babies, toasted future ones and mourned the loss of one whom I still can't believe isn't with us. The morning I spent at my dear friend's house was so nice, so peaceful and gave me so much hope and strength, set by her example, that trusting in God is the only way. The time I spent with all my friends this week has made me see just how special each and everyone in my life is, and how truly blessed we all are, no matter what the circumstances.

On top of that I have been finalizing paperwork and getting everything ready to close on my condo on Monday. I can't even believe that in just 3 days, I will own a home of my own. Mom, Marissa and I have also been running around looking for last minute ideas on color, furniture, rugs, fabric, etc. I must say, I think when we finally get this all fixed up and moved in, it is going to look fabulous.

So with all the running around and work load and stress about getting to closing, I have come down with some sort of ugly, energy-draining sickness. Again. Tomorrow I'm going to get a massage...hopefully that will help some...but I really feel like I have mono all over again. I can't move, I'm so tired and my throat couldn't hurt more. Why oh why does this always sneak up on me at the worst times? My body is obviously telling me to figure out my stress. Guess I should start listening. At least I have a few more weeks of August recess to do just that.

Day 966

This post is a bit of an oxymoron...a tragedy, a celebration and a frustrating process with no end just yet. The last five days have been a complete realm of emotions for me, and to say the least, I am just completely worn out from it all.

First, I still ask for you prayers regarding my dear friends who lost their baby girl last week. Today was her Memorial Service and burial. This is really just breaking me heart and I just hope that they can feel the prayers that are sent their way. It's a bit tough for me to express just how much this hurts me for them, so please, just pray for strength and healing and to know just how much love is with them. If you'd like to leave a message or say a special prayer for my dear friends, you can click on the link to go to Sarah's website, Sarah Bussey Photography, or go to: www.sarahbusseyphotography.com/journal

As for the new home, everything seems to be progressing along at a slow pace. Today I had the inspection and there was nothing at all major to worry about, so that is a good thing checked off the list. The only thing that is worrying me is the financing...it's just pretty tough getting a loan right now, rightfully so, and now I'm having to come up with a lot more money down than I originally thought. Please keep your fingers crossed that this will all work out for me smoothly...it is seriously stressing me out, even though with everything going on with my friends right now, I know that to be stressed about this is so ridiculous compared to what could be.

Lastly, the good news, and I just thought I'd share a few photos from the weekend. I was in Detroit for the wedding of two very dear friends living with me here in Washington, and it couldn't have been more fun or beautiful. Congratulations again Shelley and Mike. I am so happy that I was able to share in your special celebration.



The Southern girls from Washington at the rehearsal dinner



Arkansas girls at the wedding reception

Day 940

I had an Ah Ha moment the other day. Actually, it's been a moment in progress, but somehow, the other night in yoga class, immediately after successfully completing my crow pose, I came down to my mat and Ah Ha!

It was liberating and exhilarating and I finally felt peace.

It has taken a while to get here, but I've decided that 30 is going to be my time to shine. I know that, in past posts, I have dwelled upon about getting older, but the Ah Ha about it is...age ain't nutin' but a number. Kind of ridiculous it took an Ah Ha moment to reach that conclusion, huh?

I do realize that I will have to work harder than I ever have in order to make this happen. That means continuing to bust my tail at the gym. That means resisting temptation of unhealthy habits, both for my diet and for my health. That means to curb my spending, keep a close eye on my finances and seeing the difference between what I need and what I want. That means to continue working hard in my career and the work that I love. And also, that means to start listening to both my head and my heart, so the decisions I make, although some painful or heartbreaking, will be the very best for me.

Geez, that's a lot to champion in just six months. But you know what, it's about time.

It is a bit ridiculous that I had to wait almost 30 years until I started to get my rear in gear. And it is a bit ridiculous that I am finally standing up a getting what I deserve. A healthy body. A health mind. Financial stability. Professional success and fulfillment. And relationships full of respect and honesty and commitment and love.

I don't think that is too much to ask for. But the thing is, no one is going to hand it to me. It is there for me to stand up and take. I've got to fight for it until people decide to fight for me.

So I guess the question is, why wait until 30? As dad always said, "There's no time like today." He definitely got that one right.

Day 935

Very good news today...I got approved for a mortgage loan! Now all I have to do is find a condo in a safe area that is affordable enough (read: at a bargain basement price) to purchase. One obstacle down, another to go.

A year ago at this time I had already found my current basement apartment, although I didn't move in until the end of July. Browsing back through my thoughts and words a year ago...wow. It's pretty amazing to see the changes I have made in just one years time.

If I do find a place and move, it will be my fifth home in Washington since I've been here. Five in five years, although this is my sixth summer in Washington. Believe it or not, I hate to move, but I always get excited for the change it brings. A new adventure. Time to settle down now though. Guess I'm looking for a bit more stability in my life.

Honestly, my favorite part of a move is the creativity I get to express. I visualize the rooms, the ways I can arrange furniture, my books, my art. I dig through design magazines and blogs, searching for my next great idea. Added to my "Blogs I Stalk" list are some new favorites. I have a few new ideas I'm keeping to myself for now...the suspense makes the before and afters that much more fun, huh?

Oh yeah, and about that procedure I had on Wednesday. Well, Crone's Disease has been ruled out, but my doc did have to take about 8 biopsies because she found inflammation and redness throughout my colon. Guess it's good to be thorough, but I have to wait a few weeks to find the results. I'll keep you loyal followers posted on the results.

My 7-year-old cousin Jack, boy genius, asked me what was wrong on Wednesday afternoon. I told him I had surgery, and when he asked where, I answered with "my booty." His reply? "Um, did you have lipo Shawna?"

Really?

So I asked, "Jack, do I need lipo?"

Silence.

Guess you shouldn't ask a 7-year-old a question if you don't want to know the truth. But seriously, how does he know what lipo is? His wisdom ceases to amaze me.

Day 932

First the bad news...for some reason, my camera isn't wanting to download any pictures to my computer. Boo. So for now, I have to resort my BlackBerry for pictures. Not the best quality, but it'll do for now.

Which leads to this:



Coldplay! Last Thursday night, outside show...it was INCREDIBLE! Here's a hint: spend the money for the good seats...we sat 4th row, with just the orchestra pit in front of us! Really, it was one of the best shows I've ever seen. No doubt. I was a fan before, but after Thursday's show, I may register right below stalker level. I mean, I would let Chris Martin name my kids Parsnip, Asparagus, Cleopatra, whatever, just if he were to serenade me every evening.

So that was fun.

The next day I packed up after work for a little road trip to West Virginia with my aunt and cousin Jack. It was a great weekend that basically consisted of sitting on my grandparents' front porch, watching the boat float down the river, and planting my grandfather's garden. It's funny that I enjoy things like this so much now. It wasn't too long ago that I wouldn't dare leaving parties to be attended on Memorial Day weekend for a slow weekend in Small Town USA. Now, I'd much rather do the latter. Funny how things change.

Now I'm back in DC, getting ready for my colonoscopy tomorrow morning. Ugh. I ate breakfast about 3 hours ago and can't eat again until tomorrow afternoon. In a few hours I get to start taking my medicine to "cleanse" me. Ugh. Hopefully this will rule out Crone's and other diseases...fingers crossed they find nothing.

Day 924

So I was sitting at the doctor's office this afternoon--a new one, this time an Internist. I went last week because some of my blood work levels were high, so we had to double check some stuff out. He looked at my labs, decided I was fine, then took my blood pressure (because the nurse couldn't get a reading), and it was kind of sky high. Then my pulse...sort of racing. Strange, but of all my dumb issues, hypertension has never been one of them. Never. Actually, it's usually really good.

So I had to come back today to get it checked out.

Today I go in, and he personally takes the tests himself again...although it's not as high as last week, it was still a bit up there. As was my heart rate. Really?!? Now he's all worried and wants to start monitoring me. Seriously, not cool.

Here's the thing though--I think I know why it was elevated. My doctor is hot. Smoking hot, in that smart, nerdy, borderline cocky way that I love. Alas, he's married, so no go there (ever at all!), but I can't help myself from blushing a bit when he walks in the room. To take my blood pressure. And get my heart rate going. Oh geez...maybe I should just go get a second opinion on the matter and get a clean bill of health.

Day 892

I'm having a mini freak out here. What else is new? Although I have pondered this idea off and on now for a few years, I really got in my head a few weeks ago that I want to buy a home. Okay, a home may be wishful thinking, but at least a 1BR condo.

Maybe it's the enticing $8,000 first time home buyer tax credit (although I just found out in today's research that I don't qualify for all of that due to salary restrictions). Maybe it's the fact that I'm now searching for my 5th dwelling in 5 years to move into this summer. Maybe it's the fantasy of finally putting paint on the walls, growing an herb garden on the balcony and investing in a place I can be proud of. Or maybe, just maybe, the quickly approaching 30th year of my birth might be a factor in this new obsession. Whatever it is, I want it. I want it bad. I want it now.

Problem is, real estate in DC is really expensive. It sort of makes me sick to think that what I'll probably have to pay for a 1BR apartment here, I could be getting a 4BR mini-mansion back home. And then condo fees, parking fees, property taxes, utility bills...can I really do this?

Part of me says wait two years...my car will be paid off, I will have saved more money for a down payment. But there goes $36,000 more dollars down the drain in rent payments. No joke there...this town isn't cheap. And will the economy be on the up again? That means housing prices will rise again, and there may not be the tax incentive that there is lingering in front of me now.

I've never been great with money, everyone knows that. Might be because I've never had any, and when I finally started to, I went a bit crazy. At least I've calmed down, started making wise decisions and paying for my mistakes. But this is a big one, and I don't even know where to begin. That's not true...I've been researching and reading up on my options. The worst thing I could do is get in over my head, but with the strict guidelines instilled now, I don't think that could be possible. Now I just have to take the first step and find some professional help.

So just a mini-freak out. Might be time to get to my yoga class and just breathe. I know that whatever will be, will be, and if I can't afford anything just yet, that's okay. I'd rather know that now and have a goal to work toward than make a very bad money decision. I'll just have to focus my instant gratification tendencies toward a real, attainable goal. Ah, frustration. No wonder my doctors want me to work on my anxiety.

Day 846

Brr!! It's cold--still, again, whatever--and I'm about done with this winter!! At this moment, Mother Nature has taken a break from the snow she's been blowing down all day, but she's supposedly just resting up for a good 6-9 inches tonight! I need sunshine and a warm breeze and Cherry Blossoms blooming all around this city! Guess I'm just going to have to wait a few more weeks for Miami, and then cross my fingers that I return to warmer days.

Last weekend was full of festivities, and the next few will be busy too, so this weekend I took full advantage of this nasty weather and took a nice needed timeout. Friday night I went for groceries, cooked and went to bed early. Saturday was yoga and then walking on the treadmill for an hour (no more running until my shin splints go away!). Then lunch, shower, nap, church and then a family birthday dinner for my aunt. Today was laundry and more laundry, then I'll clean a bit and get to bed early to ready for another big week. I know, I know...so boring these days, but these next few weeks are going to be crazy busy, so this weekend was well needed.

Alright, I'm boring myself with all this blab. Below was from last weekend...at 9:30 Club for the Drive By Truckers concert/going away party for a friend.

Day 839

In anticipation for the Oscars tonight, and the fact that it is a cold and rainy day in Washington, I decided I needed to do a bit of online cocktail dress/evening gown browsing. In the next few months, I have a black tie fundraiser and three weddings to attend, so I need to start keeping my eye on a few new options.

Problem is, I tend to gravitate toward a certain trend. See a connection?















Hmm, like black much? Funny thing is, I started looking back at dresses from college formals, weddings and parties that weren't on my computer, and they were almost all black too. Maybe I should have taken it to heart when an old roommate jokingly labeled me the "Mistress of Darkness". Or I should have taken note when my uber-stylish cousin Valeri came down the stairs as a 6-year-old in black skinny jeans, a black turtleneck sweater and black flats and said, "Look mom, I look like Shawna." I've started to add a bit of color in my wardrobe, but clearly, I need to step it up a bit.

So, in the spirit of color, here are some yummy choices which, if I had the budget (and the body), I would buy up in a heartbeat.

This mulberry colored Badgley Mischka gown is perfection! Absolutely gorgeous!



Or how about this amazingly sexy David Meister. His dresses always make a girl look good, but this cranberry one shoulder sheath is a showstopper.



This one shoulder, petal pink Lela Rose dress is fun, flirty and perfect for batting your lashes and being a girly girl.



I LOVE this grecian bustier Alexander McQueen! Very elegant with a hint of punk that he does so well.



And the green strapless, sweetheart neckline maxi from Tibi...amazing!



Robert Rodriguez is one of my favorites, and I love this super fun and bright pink and black cocktail dress.



Hello sexypot...this Mandalay lace-overlay stone dress is HOT!



I just love Rachel Roy's designs too, and although she is way out of my budget, a girl can dream about this gorgeous dress, right?



And of course, what's a dress list dedicated to color without a DVF? I love the way her clothes fit a woman's body, and this bold orange would look fabulous dress up with gold accesories, or dressed down with gladiator flats. Fingers crossed it'll go on sale soon!



All amazing, but I think that if in my Oscar dream I could wear one designer this year, it would be a Marchesa gown. I think each and every one of their dresses are absolutely amazing. They are etheral and flirty and regal, and what an amazing feeling it must be to don one for an evening. Breathtakingly gorgeous!







Hooray! One hour until the red carpet begins! Much to discuss tomorrow...enjoy the Oscars everyone!

Day 833

Recess. It is here and it could not have come at a better time. I am literally exhausted after basically going non-stop since Christmas, and my body and mind is just totally worn out. It's about time for a week to rest up and rejuvenate.

A few weeks ago, I went back to my doctor for a checkup and she had a long talk with me about my stress levels. Although stress is not a cause for my condition, it is a trigger, and she strongly suggested that I take a long, hard look at the way in which I am living. Slowly I have been trying to filter clutter and chaos out of my life. Toxic relationships. Overstuffed closets. Pieces of my past that I no longer need to hold on to. I had made some major life choices recently that were right. They were selfish, but not in a negative way. They put me on a path to happiness, and since then a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Since my initial diagnosis and treatment, I have felt a million times better. The key, now, is to keep feeling that way. My next step was to take care of my body and get it back to health. I have been eating better, working out, practicing yoga again, and getting outside and enjoying life again. Funny that since that first week of getting back into those healthier habits, I feel more alive. I'm happier and feel a sense of freedom that I haven't felt in some time. It's like my options are limitless as long as I have my sense of adventure and imagination.

And just like that, the stress has started to melt away. Yes, I have been working very hard, but I don't mind it. I may be tired, but I'm bouncing back faster. I'm ready to keep going, and you know what...it's about time!

I realize this is a bit vague...there is a lot that doesn't need to be disclosed...but I feel that some explanation should be made for all of my "change" talk from the end of last year. The decisions have been made, the path has been set and set again, and all is good in my world. Now back to the blogging!