Day 1827

Today marks five years since dad passed away. I don't even know if it feels like five years or twenty-five years, but I know that it doesn't feel anymore like it was just yesterday. That pain and grief is gone, and now I'm left with a different feeling, one that I really can't simply describe. For the first time in five years, today just sort of feels like any other day. I feel both relieved and guilty that it is not hitting me like in years past. I smiled while hearing his voice in my head, yet had that overwhelming grief took hold of me, but just for a mere moment. Mostly though, I feel somewhat at peace today; peaceful in knowing that I will be okay, I will continue to get stronger, and I can go on after all this time. Most importantly though, I love him and miss him all the same, and I know that I was such a lucky girl to have him as a dad for almost 27 years. Damn, now the tears are coming...knew I couldn't go all day without them. Not today.