Day 440

I've become inspired. Somewhere along the way of reading the blogs of friends and strangers, I've realized what a valuable source of therapy, inspiration, and ultimately, self-realization blogs can be.

Don't worry out there...I won't be naming names or telling tales of others. This is not Single in the Capital City. No wild stories, no kissing and telling, and I'll try my best for no politics. So here's the story of how I got here...

It was 2003, and I had just finished putting myself through college. After accompanying my grandmother on an amazing trip to Italy, I moved back to Little Rock to begin graduate school.

Soon after starting school, our family found out that dad was diagnosed with Stage IV, Metastisized Prostate Cancer. For those of you that don't know the cancer lingo, this is the worst diagnosis a prostate cancer patient can receive. It means that the cancer had spread beyond the prostate, making it inoperable. Dad was resorting to experimental treatments, new combinations of chemo and radiation every few months, and a positive attitude to keep on keeping on. Meanwhile, he was still doing what he loved, coaching his swim team, and was also encouraging me (as always) to pursue my dreams.

Two years later, I moved to Washington, DC to work in the political media field. Although I was scared of leaving dad and my family, he insisted and told me that I had to keep living my life, just as he was still living his. Things took a turn for the worse in October 2006, and on a hunch, I flew home to Little Rock instead of taking a scheduled trip to South Carolina for a football game. I made it in time to have a few good days with him, and was ultimately able to shield my family from his worst night, his excruciating struggle into unconsciousness. Two days later, he left his cancer-ridden body. The day was November 8, 2006.

The amazing thing to me was seeing dad's outlook on his illness throughout those three years. He never saw his illness as a crutch or an excuse. He used it as a teaching tool, as a way to tell you to never give, keep your chin up and live your life to its fullest. I know that things will get easier, but the truth is, Day 440 still hurts just as much as Day 1. I still have a lot to learn from my dad, and hope writing this blog will enable me to preserve his memory and keep learning from him. Thanks for taking this journey with me.