Day 449

When you go down this road, sometimes it's hard to remember that others have been down the same path. You feel alone and crazy and heartbroken, yet ashamed for still feeling like this, after so much time has passed. And when you start to feel ashamed, you stop venting and communicating, because you don't want to take others down with you.

I started my writing for a number of reasons: to get out my thoughts and emotions, to better communicate to my friends and loved ones, and to help others that may one day follow down this path I'm on. Today, I went full circle.

First thing this morning, I received an email from a good friend in DC that many of you may know, Betsy Barrett. Betsy's mom found out yesterday that she has clear cell cancer of the uterus, a very aggressive type of cancer. On Friday, she'll have a hysterectomy and remove her uterus, ovaries and lymph nodes, which will be biopsied to give them a better idea of her treatment options. I spoke with Betsy about sharing this with you all and she agreed. This is an extremely difficult time for Betsy, her mom and their family, and I ask all of you now to please add them to your prayers. I know that if it wasn't for the constant prayers of friends and strangers, dad would not have hung on even half as long as he did.

Betsy, I pray that your mom receive comfort, determination and spirit to tackle this terrible disease, and I pray you all receive strength and a full heart, knowing that there are so many out there praying and thinking of you all right now. I am always there for you if you need me.

Betsy, her mother and family have been in my head and heart all day, and when I got home from work just a bit ago, I received another email, this time from a friend's cousin. She had been following the blog after the address was passed on to her, and wanted to share with me her story. As I had previously known, her father had passed away over 10 years ago. She shared with me similarities we have, and feelings she's dealt with, and ways she gets through tough days. Most importantly, she gave me hope. I know deep down that things will get better in time, but Linsley is living proof. Thank you so much for sharing with me. I only wish that my willingness to share my crazy up and down journey with others will benefit them as much as your email tonight spoke to me.

It is such a blessing to have people to lean on. At first, I used to always say, "Why me? Why my dad?" But now I think I know why--so that I can go through this and get through this and then be there for others when they fall. Please feel free to share this blog with others, because if there's anyone out there that will benefit from this, it's all worth it to me. Sometimes, even knowing that someone has been down that road before makes you feel less alone, less crazy, and less heartbroken. It makes you feel normal, which is at times like these all you can hope for.