Day 484

It's funny how people can drift in and out of your life. Tonight I'm not talking about losing someone forever, but how relationships come and go and then come again. This seems to happen to me more than the average person. Long ago best friends seem to be lost forever, and then all of a sudden, we find each other again. This is always fun, seeing where life has taken them. We may not be close anymore, but they will always and forever be a part of this life we lead.

And then there's my terrible track record of male relationships. Don't worry, no names. It really wouldn't matter though, because its just the same old story, different verse. Basically, all of a sudden they disappear on me. No explaination, no closure. I deny their disappearance for a week or two, then beat myself up the next few. A few months later, when I've come to terms with what happened, they always come back knocking at my door. And I always seem to answer it.

Ugh! What gives? Seriously, I'm not sure if I can take much more of this anymore. Being ignored and dismissed is just a horrible weight for the soul to bear.

They say a woman looks for a man like her father, but my dad never treated my mom or sisters that way. He was passionate about his work, his family and all that he worked so hard to achieve. He was a hard worker and committed himself to his team and swimmers. He was outgoing, could talk to anybody and was a great speaker. He was smart and always eager to learn and improve himself. He was funny, but also had a goofy side to him. He liked to be in control of his life, but wasn't afraid to take risks. He was a great teacher and mentor. He was a definite guys-guy, but still had lots of great women friends too. He was a fun dancer and loved to let loose and have a good time. And let's face it, he was athletic and a good-looking man too (something a woman always will go for).

Sounds too good to be true, huh? Well, that's my dad. Know anyone that sounds like him? Send him my way. Just no more drifters please! Maybe one day, I'll learn to quit people when I should. I guess I just like to have faith and always see the good in people. But at the same time, I need to find what's good for me.