Tonight's menu: Lentil Soup
My new motto should be, "Cooking makes it all a little bit better. Red wine, even more so."
Still not feeling my best today. Still achy and lethargic and I just can't seem to shake it. I walked to the bank and to Whole Foods today in the frigid temperature, hoping it would do me good to get out in the brisk air. Getting my blood flowing outdoors did help a bit, but the feet of now black snow piled high on the street side just made me more depressed that yet more snow may be coming this Sunday.
I'm sure the lack of sun has something to do with me...always seems to help feel better when the sun is shining down on me.
But I've also been thinking about dad a lot lately, and it's not the happy memories I thankfully welcome. This morning I had a dream that I was a little bit older, living back in Little Rock and taking my young kids to a swim meet at UALR. They saw a picture of dad on the wall and said, "Look mom, it's grandpa. Coach is watching our race." I've never had a thought like that before, about what my kids will miss out on never knowing him. It's really, really hard to think about; really hard to even write at this moment.
So tough thoughts on top of the looming winter on top of not feeling my best...the only thing that I can do to make today a bit easier is cooking and a glass of red wine. I'm a slow cook but a fairly good cook...limited in what I know, but that will get better with time and practice. It's a bit hard cooking for one, but I'm trying to do it more and more anyway. Because when I get in the kitchen to cook, everything else just seems to fade to the background. It has to in order for me to concentrate on the meal I am preparing.
So tonight I peeled and I diced and I sauteed and I stirred, and now I'm sitting back with a glass of red wine, listening to the classical music of the figure skating in the background, and trying to focus on the good of my day. Good friends, amazing family, great job, a home of my own, hopes and dreams to look forward to. Wonderfully blessed, even on the tough days.
4 comments:
I hope the wine (and the food) helps lift your spirits a little bit:) I can't begin to understand how hard it is to think of those things your dad isn't here to physically see, but I know he will be smiling down on you through all of your future journeys! Love ya!
my dr. told me today that I might need to try light therapy next year so i dont get so down during the winter months, so i know how ya feel about the cold and sunless weather. I'm guessing you still havent gotten your valentine's package yet. I know that will totally cheer you up! I got my valentine's present a little late from Lindann. late is better than never - I finally got my snuggie!
January and February seem to be the toughest months for folks. It's important to get into the sunshine even on the coldest days.Hope you feel better soon!
Eric tends to be down this time of year too. He just tries to keep busy. But, I understand where you're coming from, I never knew my grandfather and Miller will never know one of his grandfathers either. It's tough, but all I need to know is that my grandfather made my dad who he is today and I'm grateful for that. Of course, wine helps too :) Stay strong...Love you!
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