Okay, I have to pause for a sec...I'm watching the Grammys and Kanye West just sang a song about his mom. I teared up. So sad. See, just another example of how my tears come randomly.
Sorry, so back to blogland...I have been thinking the past few days about those who read my blog. Most of you don't see me often, or really, much at all anymore. All you really know of me right now is my writing. But I want you all to know, this is only a part of me. This is the part that I have needed for so many years now to start getting out. My sad moments, my dark place, my avenue for expression. This is the part of me that I've been scared, or more so, ashamed of showing everyone else for so long. Sort of ironic, isn't it, that the part that now everyone sees is the part I've tried to keep hidden for so long.
It's true, the old Shawna isn't quite all there anymore. I've lost a bit of my naivity. I've lost a bit of my carefreeness. Are these all Bushisms? I think I'm making up words here. Anyway...all has not changed, and I hate that you all don't get to see me from day-to-day. I still am ambitious, a hard-worker and committed. I still have the same dry sense of humor, same silly laugh and same bootylicious dance moves. I still wear my heart on my sleeve, still am a bit of a book nerd, still hate small-talk. And still want to make sure everyone else is okay. And I want you all out there to know that I'm okay. I'm doing just fine, and thanks to all of you, hope to keep getting better and better everyday. So thanks for worrying about me. But instead, I think you should all just get up to DC to visit and see for yourself.
Same Ole Shawna
2 comments:
Speaking of teary-eyed moments...Roo and I went on a long walk yesterday and there were a ton of people out there (I think it was a marathon training group). Anyways, all of a sudden I just started to cry. I was thinking about how much dad loved to run. I remember after his surgery, his doctor told him that he would never be able to run again. After a few months, he went back to his doctor and told him that NOT running was going to kill him more than having this minor set back known as cancer. It just makes me so sad seeing other people run and thinking about our first run together post surgery. Gosh I miss him!
I hope you're feeling better! Yuck! You are now in Addison's playgroup--please add us when you want to! =)
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